I get down with a sharpie!

Steppin in shit.

I was at a house party last night it was a good time until I went outside and stepped in dog shit. I hate stepping in shit, shit is probably the worst thing to step in because it makes such a mess and cleanup needs to be immediate. Shit is not like bubble gum, where you can wait it out and clean it off with a stick or something, shit has priority.
The worst pile of shit I have ever stepped on was in an alleyway in New York City. I was heavily intoxicated from a night of partying in a housing project on Avenue D. I made my way through the East Village scoping out parking garages and dark doorways to pee in. New York City is the hardest city to publicly urinate in that I have ever been to for a number of reasons that I will follow up on eventually. Somewhere around 15th street and 6th Avenue I found a prime spot, a dimly lit, quiet one-way street with good coverage. One-way streets are great for peeing on in major cities because you can concentrate on watching out for the police much easier if you know what direction they will come from. I have a lot of rules when it comes to peeing on the street, but I am far too old to be issued a citation for whatever law it is against to pee on the street, and I absolutely hate talking to police officers.
As I was leaving I stepped in a pile of shit and it was evident that it was not dog shit because there was toilet paper strewn about. Apparently I was not the only person who thought this spot was a prime one; but who shits on the street and uses toilet paper? Am I the only person who can spot the irony in that? It is possibly worse than the idiots who slept on the street for days so they could by the $600 i-Phone when it came out.
I did my best to clean it off, scraping the side of my sole against the curb, stepping in a puddle, wiping it against grass. I even went into a Dunkin' Donuts so I could use their floor mat. The smell was atrocious and I think a few customers noticed it from the looks I was getting. That was the last time I ever wore those shoes, they were cursed.
Thankfully last night was not as bad and a few wipes on the lawn later they were clean, clean enough to go back inside and walk around the house without taking my shoes off, and if they weren't well it was probably the home owners' dog's shit I had stepped in. I washed them better today, but I am still going to use it as a great excuse to buy some new shoes. I am thinking some classic white Converse All Star high tops.

Buy books with Cash only!

Buy books with Cash only!

(There was once a picture of Malcolm X's book "By any means necessary" here, but case in point, the irony is that in fact "they" are watching everything and it was removed.)

Buy books with Cash only!
(And always be on your best behavior.)

Cat Sitting

Things did not go over well with my sister and her son's desire to get a tattoo and my tattoo artist friend thought I was joking when I told him I thought it was perfectly fine for him to tattoo a nine year old. He had the same answer my sister did, something about waiting until he is 18 and then have it done, well that is stupid because I don't think very many people want the same things when they are nine and when they are 18. I was almost sure he would do it, you really have no idea what you are going to get yourself into when he is around. We got drunk at my house, he pulled a knife on me as a joke but I got really uncomfortable after a few minutes of it, then demonstrated motherly nurturing techniques with my cat, we are supposed to meet up soon and vandalize something or go joy riding to the coast in a stolen car for fun because I haven't been doing a lot of much lately.

Over There

The coolest thing about Dubai was the hookers.

For the Lil' Cuss

My nine-year-old nephew has been staying with me because, his mother (my sister) is on some prepackaged vacation cruise somewhere. Anyway the lil' cuss, which is what I call him said he wanted a tattoo of an Arab woman with a bird's nest for a mouth. After doing some psychedelics and putting the lil' cuss to bed, I stayed up all night drawing this, he is excited about it. I have a tattoo artist friend of mine coming over this weekend to ink it up on the lil' cuss, his mother will love it, and if not, well I guess/hope this is the last time I have to babysit.

Excuse me, it has been a while.

So, my no-call no-show stint resulted in me being terminated, laid off, or technically fired...whatever you would like to call it, point being I don't have a job now. Luckily, I have a few options which I would like to list and evaluate the pros and cons.

1. Get another job. This is the most respectable and responsible thing to do, but it will once again force me to spend my days doing something I will not like, most likely being surrounded by people I do not like.
2. Apply for unemployment, disability, welfare, foodstamps, etc. I just like to call it "Free Money," I dont really understand or care to learn about the differences between all the types of "Free Money," I can get.
3. Try to get a prescription for medical marijuana and sell whatever I don't use myself to high school students and my artist friends. (this can be combined with option #2, but that would be a lot of responsibility and paper work to do both at once.
4. Start taking nude polaroids of myself and selling them on eBay, once again. I haven't done this since my late teens, but it paid my way through the first two years of school at a community college I do not put on resumes.

Post up.

Spread the word, copy and paste hoodrat hoodrat hoochie mamas.

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Take it to the floor

I have been chasing shots of Jack Daniels with Lime Perrier and listening to mashed-up remixes of 80's dance songs with contemporary underground hip-hop this entire week. I called in sick to work on Tuesday and haven't showed up since. I feel that the "No-call, No-show," is by far the best and most liberating way to take time off. My boss keeps calling every day, which I am taking as a good sign that I am still employed. Once the calls stop I will show up the day after with a horrible story, something about being in the hospital or losing my phone in a drunken stupor, depending on the reaction of my co-workers upon my arrival.

I think it is good to pair things up, enjoy my photo mash-up.

Composite of Royalty.

Last night an ex-lover came over, we did some mescaline and I drew this.