Steppin in shit.

I was at a house party last night it was a good time until I went outside and stepped in dog shit. I hate stepping in shit, shit is probably the worst thing to step in because it makes such a mess and cleanup needs to be immediate. Shit is not like bubble gum, where you can wait it out and clean it off with a stick or something, shit has priority.
The worst pile of shit I have ever stepped on was in an alleyway in New York City. I was heavily intoxicated from a night of partying in a housing project on Avenue D. I made my way through the East Village scoping out parking garages and dark doorways to pee in. New York City is the hardest city to publicly urinate in that I have ever been to for a number of reasons that I will follow up on eventually. Somewhere around 15th street and 6th Avenue I found a prime spot, a dimly lit, quiet one-way street with good coverage. One-way streets are great for peeing on in major cities because you can concentrate on watching out for the police much easier if you know what direction they will come from. I have a lot of rules when it comes to peeing on the street, but I am far too old to be issued a citation for whatever law it is against to pee on the street, and I absolutely hate talking to police officers.
As I was leaving I stepped in a pile of shit and it was evident that it was not dog shit because there was toilet paper strewn about. Apparently I was not the only person who thought this spot was a prime one; but who shits on the street and uses toilet paper? Am I the only person who can spot the irony in that? It is possibly worse than the idiots who slept on the street for days so they could by the $600 i-Phone when it came out.
I did my best to clean it off, scraping the side of my sole against the curb, stepping in a puddle, wiping it against grass. I even went into a Dunkin' Donuts so I could use their floor mat. The smell was atrocious and I think a few customers noticed it from the looks I was getting. That was the last time I ever wore those shoes, they were cursed.
Thankfully last night was not as bad and a few wipes on the lawn later they were clean, clean enough to go back inside and walk around the house without taking my shoes off, and if they weren't well it was probably the home owners' dog's shit I had stepped in. I washed them better today, but I am still going to use it as a great excuse to buy some new shoes. I am thinking some classic white Converse All Star high tops.